The Soul Sheik

I found my soulmate thirteen years ago. It is only after all these times, the marriage..the children..the bills and the daily drudgeries we call life, that I realized. Why. Why, I have always been in a state of limbo. Why when I drink iced-tea, eat steak, loiter in malls, even watch a movie, take a swim, cook, bake, go to restaurants, my heart feels and remembers, the colors and the scents of my mate. Buses and terminal scenes in movies, always … makes me cry and cringe a sorrowful delight. Listening to Jesse Cook’s Breathing below surface, gives me tachycardic spasms from three to four in the morning, when I am most forlorn and lost. My throat dried and my mind reduced to that of a three year old, looking for his mommy. Why. Why I did not end up with my soulmate. Through all shyness and disbelief, faith and love, the cacophonies of cheeries and the drearies of the years, I’m here staring and my monitor staring back. And it’s five. My day ends, and theirs begin. I drift to the bed, tired, sore and spent.

Love is love. We are our parent’s love incarnate, born to bear, to weather and endure, to testify and to be, to discover and know itself. We have within ourselves the universe encapsulated. All that is outside is also within us. The turmoil and the peace, the beauty and the gross, the goodness and the wickedness that inhabit this world, inhabits us as well. We are who we are not. The dualities that rips this universe also rips us. Mini-blackholes survey the endless expanse of our minds and hearts, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. It’s been discovered that within the center of our galaxy, the Milkyway, there’s no milk, but a super black hole, drawing everything towards it, suns, solar systems and yes even black holes, that gets caught in its path, thereby giving the galaxy its eerie swirling countenance. We have observe the similitude of the biggest and the smallest our minds can conceive. The process of creation and destruction we rouse, with the simplest decision, the slightest action and faintest memories. "Should I stay or should I go?" "Damned if I stay, damned if I go." Linger in the void and the inert or the majestic beauty of a maelstrom? "I’d rather be magnificent and blinding than torpid and safe." says he who is not.